Monday, August 30, 2010

Our Father Who

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.


The Our Father is prayer I've recited probably since I could talk but I don't know if I have ever felt God's presence in it the way I did this weekend. On Saturday we went to our friends wedding which took place in a beautiful Catholic Church, it was truly a beautiful ceremony and baptism. I was so happy to be a witness to their beautiful union. It was so comforting to be in the Catholic Church it feels like going "home" to me I've been struggling with the act of forgiveness when it comes to many people in my life and also to forgive myself for the mistakes that I have made. I've been praying and searching for the ability to do so. So after the wedding and baptism we joined together to recite the "Our Father" a prayer that I have said so often, I was speaking it when I felt a place of calm and peace the peace I have been searching for so when everyone repeated "and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" it just seemed to make sense. I felt free that I am able to show compassion for the people who wronged me to move forward even if those people aren't able to because they are still in a dark place of hate, anger, jealousy, and self absorbed distortion. I can forgive them and let them carry the weight of their wrong doings for I know the truth and so does God. I will leave it to God to help them on the journey so maybe one day I could truly reconcile with them.

I think I am going to keep this short and in this moment for today.

Friday, August 27, 2010

I Would Find Play-doh in the Microwave...

Yes as the title of this blog states I just pulled pink play-doh out of our microwave. I'm not sure of the culprit so it looks like no one will get disciplined this time. Our friday has been good/great so far, we spent an hour and a half at a local park walking around, it's been awhile since we have been out exercising between sickness and the weather we spent most of August inside or out on our new swing set.

Anthony was so tired by the time we came home he was able to find a marker and try to "paint" his toenails and then follow me around asking to nurse until it turned into a full bown tantrum asking to go nite nite. I am very thankful that Anthony likes his naps, he's always gone to sleep easy for naps. Bed time is a whole different story but it seems like I have more patience at night then during the day, Izabella is the complete opposite who has always fought nap time but loves bed time.

Carlos went away for training this week  to New Jersey it was the first time I have been home alone with the kids for three night, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at how well things went. I really had a great time with the kids, knowing that there is no one else who is going to do anything really kicks my butt into gear with them. Granted we all slept in the same bed together, I really enjoyed my alone time at night. It was so quiet in the house without anyone snoring. The first night he was gone I didn't sleep very well for every noise I hear I thought was a burglar or murderer, we do live in a safe neighborhood and our house is locked up like Fort Knox.

I was able to enjoy some good conversation with old friends who I hadn't seen in a very long time, I miss the days of being able to see friends whenever I want I'm trying to incorporate friends into my hectic family life, I want them to know that I care for them even when it's been a while. I think I need a better balance of friends with having small children, but geez it's hard.

Nap time is sacred around here, I take the time to do whatever I want but usually I'm laying on the couch watching reality tv trying to stay awake until Anthony wakes up and sleeps on the couch with me. Well it is nap time and I'm going to catch up on The Real Housewives of DC and then start cleaning for our play date this afternoon.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Rainy Monday Morning's...

Bring such chaos. I have already washed the dishes, cooked breakfast, put away laundry, played play-doh, ate breakfast, colored, played with stickers, washed laundry only to find out we have a leaky pipe, changed diapers and pull-ups can I tell you it is 9:20am. Anthony ate breakfast and is still asking to nurse every 5 minutes, it's rainy, gloomy and humid!

Good news is I don't feel like ripping my tonsils out or swallowing four ibuprofen every six hours. The kids don't seem to be sick so hopefully we will  be healthy for a while so we don't have to miss out on anymore events like we did this past weekend.

I have to give Carlos a lot of credit he has been such an involved Father on the weekends. His new job has him working longer hours so he leaves while the kids are waking up and comes home in time to put Izabella to sleep. He's been making up the missed time by taking them out on "Adventures" on the weekends which all of them love. Leaving me home to rest (lie on the couch and catch up on DVR) or cleaning without interruption. It's amazing how fast I can clean when it's just me then it feels good to sit on the couch and eat bon bons HA!

Izabella is starting school in two weeks and two days, not that I'm counting but she is so ready for school, I can't wait to see what she is going to learn socially, educationally and just hopes this pushes her. Right now I can tell she's starting to get bored with just Anthony and I all the time. I know all parents think their children are smart or talented but really both my kids are quite smart. They have always hit their developmental milestones early, Izabella just thrives in new experiences and new people I can't wait to see what the school has to offer. Our Doctor always tell us they are so healthy and smart because they are mixed ethnicity and our genes are so different we've made "Super" children, okay maybe he didn't say super but you know what I mean.

Speaking of our brilliant child last night on our way home we were talking to them about what we were thankful for and Carlos started saying what he was thankful for when Izabella interrupted with
"Thats stupid, Papi, chuckle chuckle" repeat "Thats so stuuupid"
I almost fainted, I was speechless and didn't know what to say to her. Carlos and did try to explain to her that it wasn't nice or kind which I do think she understood. I then turned to Carlos and said " This is just the beginning" Thank God no one else was around to hear how cruel it sounded in the moment. We are very careful about what we say around them, we don't swear around them, I rarely swear at all anymore.

Anthony came through with some humor when we asked him what he was thankful for he told us "Mooma (what they call my Mom), Nonno and llamas" What a funny little man.

One funny comment had the beginning of August when we first started getting sick she told me:

"Mommy, I don't feel well"
"What hurts Layla?"
"It hurts from my throat all the way to my penis"
I guess this is what happens when you have a little brother

No one ever told me I would get so many gender questions about boys and girls and men and women the questions are hillarious and sometimes quite embarrassing.

Thats all for now as I reacquaint myself with laundry, toys and poo...

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Let's Try This Again...

While the kids are playing quietly with flash cards and a huge cardboard box I figured I could get some writing in. After I finished yesterday I left out some other very important people in our lives and I feel the need to fill you in.

When I got pregnant my life changed immediately I obviously stopped drinking and smoking and that was when I realized who my friends actually were. It's amazing how people will stop talking to you because you are going to have a baby. Well their were people who stuck by my side and continued being my friends through this exceptional journey. I'm so lucky to have them in my life and I cherish each and every one of you.

Let's start with my best friend since we were 6 years old, Lucia! We have been through so much together she's not even really like my friend anymore but my Sister, our parents divorced at the same time she moved away but some how we managed to stay friends through the good, the bad and the ugly. I know I can always tell her anything and I never worry about being something I'm not I'm just myself. She loves to remind me of the days I wore sweatpants with soccer cleats and didn't brush my hair. I'll always remember her chicken legs. I have to tell you Lucia and her familia are the ones who introduced me to Latino culture;  arroz con frijoles, salsa music, huge family parties. I did think it was odd that all her aunts and uncles had the same name Tia and Tio. Lucia taught me how to dance and we spent many nights dancing and getting ourselves into trouble.

Lindsay. Is a great friend who still surprises me with her kindness and compassion for other people. In Lindsay's car one night after drinking, and breaking up with my boyfriend that the song "I will survive" came on. Lindsay, Maia , AJ and I sang and sang at the top of our lungs and I felt in that moment alive and I would get over that bad relationship. I don't know how to define that moment but to me it was priceless and I knew that these were my friends! I love hanging out with Lindsay and hearing about her life as a single woman and when I go out with her she has the ability to make me laugh so hard I want to pee in my pants. There are the people that bring you down and make you feel bad well Lindsay is the complete opposite! I can't wait to see what else life has to offer her!

Maia, Maia, Maia. I'll start when I first met her which was July 13, 2002, I remember this date so clearly because it was hours before my 18th birthday. Maia is the most unique individual I have ever met, her ability to always see the positive is a personality trait which is truly divine. Maia and I have spent many nights talking and enjoying each other's company. My trust in her is so strong that I love her to pieces, she is such an exceptional part of my life that my only wish is that we spend more time together. She has been there for all my kids birthdays and my own and I can't wait to celebrate all her wonderful life events to come. She is getting married in September to a wonderful guy Danny, who is just the perfect guy for her, I can't imagine her with anyone else. Let me mention her beautiful laugh!

BETSY!! Is such another wonderful woman, who I am so so so proud of. I love talking to her and wish I did more often! She's wonderful with my kids and is absolutely the life of the party. I loved the time we spent in FL moving AJ into his first apartment, sitting out on the water... The man that asked if we were twins that still makes me laugh, or the time in NYC at the Gay bar when we fought with the bouncer. I love her love of nature and how we both grew up without junk food. Betsy is a magnificent person who I can't wait to spend more time with!!

Okay sorry guys I have to get back to my kids before the house is in shambles but leading up to...

Kate! Kate was there when I needed a friend the most she was there to laugh with and to talk to, I've always found Kate easy to talk to and absolutely hillarious!  I loved the fact when I got pregnant that she never treated me any different. She will probably always remind of when Carlos and I went to visit her in her first apartment in Boston, that after a long night of drinking and Kate forgetting her Id which enabled us to only go to one bar that night but I ran out of her apartment at 9am dragging Carlos behind me only to forget my purse. I found out I was pregnant the following week. Kate is a dear friend who has a strong personality which I find just charming. Love you Kate.

Lindsay, Maia, Betsy and Kate lead me to one amazing Man that has been in my life and that would be AJ! AJ is an amazing, enthusiastic, charming, handsome man who has been my friend through thick and thin. He introduced me to the those four amazing women and I wouldn't be here still standing without him. AJ and I have gone through the best times to the worst of times, he is truly a great person and I know that no matter how long it goes without seeing him or talking to him he is always my friend and nothing can ever change that. He is my kids "Guncle" Thanks Tori Spelling, I wish they got to see him more as he is truly amazing with kids :) I can't wait to see who he chooses to settle down with, where he ends up living and just all the wonderful things he has to offer. Love you AJ!


Denise definitely came into my life when I needed another Mommy friend, we started emailing right before her son was born (which was 4 months after Izabella). I have known Denise for basically as far back as I can remember because she was friends with my older sister Melissa but it wasn't until she was almost due that we became friends. We have had a lot in common from breastfeeding hardships, parenting, having two children so close together, being stay at home moms, and our hardships with certain relationships. I know that we will be friends for a long time as my kids love hers and we truly enjoy spending time together. She is entering her Masters program and I'm so proud of her for making that initiative for herself and her family.


I think I am going to leave it there for now, all the wonderful people who are in our lives you know who you are and I need to hurry up and post this as its already taken me two days to write!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

My First Blog...Ever

Hello Blogging world!  My name is Audrey I'm in my mid twenties and I'm married to a unbelievable, kind, handsome man named Carlos, we have a daughter Izabella who was born in May 2007, and a son Anthony who is almost 21 months old. Everyone always feels the need to tell us that we are done, but we aren't even close. I have big plans for our future family.

As of right now I have two sisters who are my best friends, I talk to both of them almost daily. I love my older sister Melissa's kids as if they were my own, my nephew Robbie is 2 months younger then Anthony at almost 19 months old and I have a brand new niece Samantha "Pickles" as of August 5, who is two weeks old today! Melissa is a wonderful Mom and wife who I look up to for all sorts of stuff we have the same views when it comes to most important topics like religion politics and biggest of all parenting. My younger sister who we call Titi Corina whose actual name is Corinne is a very special person, I truly don't know what my life would be like without her in it. My kids adore her and are so lucky to have an aunt come and play with them 4-7 times a week.

My parents are that ugly D word divorced, my Dad is remarried to a woman named Carolyn. My Mom is remarried to a great guy named Chip who I'm truly thankful entered our lives when he did. I'm very close to both my parents telling them almost everything and anything, I don't know what I would do without having that type of "friendship" with them. Another important person in our lives is Carlos Grandmother Gladys, she's a very special woman who takes care of my children regularly, well at least once a week so I can go to my weekly therapy session. Two more important people in our lives are Carlos' Mom Estella and Step-Dad Raul who we have Monday night dinners with weekly. We are lucky to have their love and support when it comes to our family. Carlos also has a Sister named Dilem who is married to Johnny and they are expecting a little boy on September 20.

This blog is probably going to prove to be slightly difficult when it comes to be able to express my true feelings about certain people and events in my life, I'm going to wing it and see how things go. I've found it's interesting how time goes on to be little less tolerant to those angry souls who want to bring you down because they aren't happy with themselves. I'm struggling today with how to deal with those people when I can't just not see them when they are part of my life no matter what.

My beliefs in God are strong and are liberal. I was raised Roman Catholic baptism, communion, Confirmation and all. Carlos and I have had a hard time finding a church where we are both comfortable, he was raised Pentecostal. We are on the road to discover a church where we are comfortable raising our children, we both believe it's important to be raised with a belief in God and to have Faith. If anyone has any suggestions we warmly welcome any advice on finding the right church for us.

I believe all people should be treated equally, I believe no one should be judged by their sexual orientation, color of their skin, ethnicity, gender. I think we all DESERVE the right to marry who ever we want, when ever we want, where ever we want. I think we are judged by God by the way that we act and treat other people. I don't believe there is one "right" religion I believe all religions are generally trying to teach compassion, love, and forgiveness. I also believe that God or Jesus would never discriminate against anyone no matter who you love. I don't understand how in 2010 their are still churches filled with people who discriminate others based on their sexual orientation.

I believe all Babies are born and want to breastfeed unfortunately they don't have a say, thats a blog itself though.


My husband, children and I are currently sick with Herpangina a virus similar to that of Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease just minus the Hand and Foot. It's a type of Coxsackie virus and it's really taken a toll on all of us this week. Also Anthony has had an ear infection for the last two weeks in a row, hopefully we clear this week without one.

I think that is all for my first blog and will continue this journey from here on out. I am hoping to gain confidence in myself by speaking my opinions and putting myself out there.